Normal as a horse.

Ellen's spring/summer contract was up August 20th, and her fall/winter contract doesn't start until August 26th. This is the stupid week-long period where every student making a transition to a new abode becomes homeless. You'd think the landlords would be a little more understanding, but that would be an oxymoron here wouldn't it?

So Ellen is staying with me for the Provo gap.

On my floor.

On a bed of blankets.

She calls it her nest.

I like her as a roommate. She makes dinner, brings home groceries, helps me clean, watches ridiculous amounts of HP with me, does great dances. Ask her about the dance I've entitled: the grandma moonwalk. And best of all, she "just wants to have fun."

Here's to you, Elle, the best temporary roommate a girl could ask for. I don't care how creepy you've become, I like you.

Good luck on the GRE! Dress smart, be smart.

I love my family.

Happiness is when your Grammy dances to Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" with you on Christmas Eve. And does a chest bump at the end.

Ga ga oooh la la.

Dedicated to Sophie.

Alright, Soph, this one's for you.

Today at work, Dallas came in to talk to me instead of sitting in the basement with our older maintenance gentlemen, Gary and Charlie.

One subject leads to another, and Dallas confesses that he got really mad at me once. I tried to rack my brain really fast to see if I could remember something that might have burst his bubble, but couldn't come up with anything. So, I straight up asked him what it was. He said he was "pissed" because I teased him about "going down to sit with the guys and doing a whole lot of nothing."

(Psh, well its true.) In immediate response to that I said, "Dallas. Don't be so sensitive."

Whoops.

Later on Charlie came upstairs to chat with me.

Now let me tell you something about Charlie: not only does he like to chat, he likes to chat in hick, which results in this kind of uncomprehensible mumble. I do a mean Charlie impersonation, ask sometime... I'll demonstrate. When he first started working at the Cove, I had to stare really hard at his mouth (which is covered by an impressive stache) to pick up any of what he was saying and just nod along in affirmation. I am proud to say that I am now fluent in Charlie.

Background info on Charlie:

• Full name: Charles Brown a.k.a. Charlie Brown.
• Has a rad looking tat on his forearm of a skull and some kind of serpent.
• Served for a lot of years in the army.
• He wears purely flannel button-ups (I know, right?).
• Loves hunting more than anything.
• He calls me "Sunshine" because "yer always smilin' errytime I get up 'round these parts no matter what kinda days go'n on." (When in all actuality, its because he can't remember my name- Dallas has confirmed.)

Today when Charlie comes up for our usual afternoon chat session, he had a picture. A picture that he printed off of facebook. A picture that he printed off of facebook of his twelve-year-old granddaughter, who shot her first buck. I am dead serious. TWELVE YEARS OLD. No joke. I was exceedingly amazed. He then told me about how he persuaded her to give him the meat after she mounts it. Yes, he promised that he was going to bring in some deer jerky for me. Apparently, he makes the best deer jerky this side of the Mississippi.

So. There you go.

P.S. Sophie- can we talk about how easy it is for me to call you by your internet pseudonym??? I count three times so far. What the weird?

Birds of a feather.

We flock together.

GO AWAY.

Last night, I had a dream. It was one of those real confusing dreams where you can't tell if its reality or not.

I was walking from my basement room upstairs to the kitchen to get some peanut butter, naturally. When I got to the top of the stairs I saw Xerxes, our resident Husky. For some reason, I wasn't sure it was Xerxes all of the sudden and got really freaked out. It was pretty dark up there.

I ran downstairs and jumped in my bed. I pulled my quilt over my head and was totally covered except for my hand, which was hanging over the edge of the bed.

Of course, the dog ran after me and came right up to my bed and starting sniffing around slash breathing heavily slash panting. The mystery dog started to lick my hand and I was terrified to even move. I didn't want him to know I was alive, because obviously if he knew I was alive, he'd attack.

I started to realize what an irrational idea this was, so in my most commanding, master voice I yell at the dog, "GO AWAY!"

And I woke myself up. Yeah. I literally yelled that outloud. Loud enough that I woke myself up out of that weird dream sleep.

So there you go.

NINE.

Just for the record:

The blue/vanilla Tootsie Roll count today was nine. NINE!

Thanks, Bonnie.

Work has been pretty slow lately. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. The people I work with are fantastic (shout-out to Nancy and Donetta). But here's the thing... as some of you may know, there's not a lot to do between one rent week and the next. So to get me through, here are some of the things that I like to do:

• After all the initial message-checking and maintenance-requesting is done, I watch the Bonnie Hunt Show. I think she is hilarious and she has def got me through some sleepy times. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's show because David Alan Greer is going to be on. (They worked together in the movie "Jumanji." A personal childhood fave.) I don't know what I'd do without her every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 2 to 3 p.m.
  
• I sanitize and re-sanitize the counters, phone, and anything else that may come into contact with sickies.
• Eat various candies ranging from salt water taffy to Airheads to Tootsie Rolls. Sometimes, Dallas (my boss's son who also works maintenance) and I like to see who can get the most vanilla or blue Tootsie Rolls. They are a rarity. One time I found three in one day. THREE.
• Read, if at all possible. Currently thumbing through East of Eden, Prince Caspian, and The Undaunted.
• Make to-do lists. I often end up having seventeen different variations of the same list by the end of the week.
• Sing to myself. I used to have two different speakers for my iPod, but both crapped out on me. So in an effort to not waste another thirty bucks on cheap technology from China, I often find myself singing whatever comes to mind. Out loud. Yes, I have had a couple of concerned-looking tenants walk in on me. Tevs.
• And.... that's about it. Exciting, eh?

P.S. This post dedicated to Mallory Ann Lee Green. Thanks, Mal, for constantly bringing to my attention my lack of blogging. I hope you like it.